This article gathers many narrations of how the Prophet pbuh lived with his blessed wives. Something we all need to learn from :
By looking at the biography of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), you will find that the Messenger of humanity, (PBUH), appreciated his wives and gave them intensive care and proper love.
He demonstrated wonderful examples during his daily life. He was the first person to stay by her side and stop her from crying, care about her feelings, not making fun of her words, listen to her, and ease her grief.
Perhaps many would agree with me that modern Western books which talk about martial life don’t have a real example. They are just empty slogans on papers.
Even though, the bestsellers in this matter were unable to reach to what the Prophet of mercy, (PBUH) reached in his life. These are some of precise situations in his life:
Drinking and eating from one place:
A’isha (RA) reported : I would drink then I would hand it “ the vessel” to the Prophet (PBUH ) and he would put his mouth where mine had been and drink and I would eat the meat from a bone and he would put his mouth where mine had been. Narrated by Muslim.
Laying in the wife's lap:
A’isha (RA) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) would recline in my lap when I was menstruating. Narrated by Muslim.
Combing his hair:
A’isha (RA) reported: When the messenger of Allah (PBUH) was in the mosque he put his head in to my place and I combed his hair. Narrated by Muslim.
Outings with his wife at night: -
The prophet (PBUH) used to go walking with Aisha (RA) at night while talking with each other. Narrated by Bukhari.
Assisting her in the housework:
A’isha (RA) was asked: “What did the Prophet use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family." Narrated by Bukari
Giving gifts to her friends:-
When the prophet (PBUH) slaughtered a sheep he said "send it to Khadija’s friends." Narrator by Muslim. (Khadija is the Prophet's {PBUH} first wife)
Praising her: -
The Prophet (PBUH) said that value of Aisha (RA) among women was the same value of thareed (bread soaked in soup) compared to other foods. Narrated by Muslim
He was pleased when she met her friends
Aisha (RA) said "My friends used to visit me but they were feeling shy from the Prophet, (PBUH), and they started to come less. So the Prophet, (PBUH), used to send for them so that I could meet them. Narrated by Muslim.
Declaring his love :-
The Prophet (PBUH) said about Khadija (RA) “I have been given her love.” Narrated by Muslim.
The Prophet (PBUH) said “O, Allah, the things which are in my control (i.e. justice and equality between
different wives) I always do justice (with them), but forgive me for that which is
beyond my control (i.e. my love with Ayesha)”.
‘Amr bin Al-‘Aas (RA) asked the Prophet (PBUH):
“O, Prophet of Allah whom do you love the most”.
“Ayesha”, he replied.
“And whom do you love the most among the men”, ‘Amr bin A’-‘Aas further asked.
“Her father” (Abu Bakr RA), the Prophet (PBUH)said.
Looking at her beautiful manners:
The Prophet (PBUH), "A male believer should not shun a female believer. If he hated one manner from her, he would accept other." Narrated by Muslim
Sleeping with his wife if he saw a woman by mistake that made him want to fulfill his desire:
The Prophet (PBUH) said: " If one of you saw a woman he should go to his wife to fulfill his desire. “ Narrated by Muslim
Does not talk about her private matters :
He said (PBUH): The worst of place with Allah on the judgment day is the man who exchanges secrets with his wife and she with him then he spreads her secrets." Narrated by Muslim
Kissing: -
The Prophet, (PBUH), used to kiss his wives while he was fasting: Narrated by Muslim
Using perfume all the time
Aish’a (RA) said: "It is as if I am looking at the glitter of scent in the part of the Prophet’s hair while he was Muhrim ". Narrated by Muslim
Giving her gifts:
Aisha (RA) said: The people were waiting for Aisha’s (RA) day to give their gifts wanting by this to please the Prophet (PBUH)." Narrated by Muslim.
Knowing her feelings:
The Prophet (PBUH), said to Aisha (RA): I know when you are angry with me or not … if were content with me you say no and by the God of Mohammad. And if you were angry with me you say: no and by the God of Ibrahim." Narrated by Muslim.
Patience with her anger
Omar Ibn Al Katab said: My wife was mad at me and she reprimanded me and I rejected that from her! She said: Why do you reject it from me? I swear by Allah that the wives of the Prophet (PBUH) reprimanded him and one of them ignored him all the day long until the night." Narrated by al Bukari.
Not beating her
Aisha (RA) said that “The Prophet didn’t strike a servant or a woman and he did beat anything with his hands." Narrated by Ibn Majah
Consoling her when she cries
Safiya (RA) was on a journey with the Prophet, (PBUH), and that day was her day and she was late so the Prophet (PBUH) received her while she was crying. She said you make me ride a slow camel so the Prophet wiped her tears and tried to make her stop crying." Narrated by Al Nisaee.
Lifting the morsel to her mouth:
The Prophet (PBUH) said : If you spend an amount you will be rewarded for it, -even when you lift the morsel to your wife’s mouth.” Narrated by Al Bukhari
Bringing all her needs:
The Prophet (PBUH), said: If you eat, let your wife eat and if you wear clothes, let your wife wear them too. Narrated by Al Hakem and graded as Saheeh by Albani
Trusting her:
The Prophet (PBUH) forbade men to knock the door of their wife at night, to betray her, or to look for her faults. " Narrated by Muslim
Over exaggeration in expressing the feelings:
The Prophet (PBUH), didn't allowed lying except in three situations, one of them is: the man talking with his wife and the wife talking with her husband about their feelings for each other. Narrated by Al Nisaee.
Justice with his wives:
Reported: Who ever has two wives and he prefers one more than the other his dealing with them, he will come on the Day of Judgement and half of his body will be slanted Narrated by Al Tirmidhi and graded as Saheeh by Albani
Taking care of ones wives every day:
Anas (RA) said:" The Prophet (PBUH) used to look in on his wives for a period time of day and night" Narrated by Al-Bukhari
Does not keep away from his wife during her menstrual cycle:
Maymona (RA) said that: The Prophet (PBUH) fondled his wives on the Izar (piece of clothing) they wore when they had their periods (menses)
Laughing as his wives quarrel:
Ayesha (RA) said: once Zaynab entered my room while she was angry with me. So the Prophet (PBUH) said: Defeat yourself. So I approached her until I saw that her mouth was dry. Then I saw the (PBUH) face shining" Narrated by Ibn Majah
Taking his wife with him during traveling:
When The Prophet (PBUH), intended to go on a journey, he used to draw lots amongst his wives and the one whose name he drew went with him.
Racing with his wife:
Aisha (RA) said that the Prophet (PBUH), said to her: Come I will race you so I raced with him and I won. After I became heavier he raced me and he won, so he laughed and said this one for that one. Narrated by Abu Dawood.
Giving her a nickname:
Aisha said "Messenger of Allah (PBUH), all your wives have a kunya (nickname) except me; so he called her Umm Abdullah.” Narrated by Ahmad
Telling her stories:
Like the Hadeeth of mother of Zara. Narrated by Al Bukhari
Sharing happy occasions with her:
Aisha (RA) said “I and the Prophet (PBUH) passed by people from Ethiopia, they were playing with their spears so the Prophet, peace be upon him stopped and watched them and I stood behind him and when I felt tired of standing, I sat , and when I stood again I hid behind the prophet peace by upon him. Narrated by Bukhari.
Respecting their hobbies and not underestimating them:
A'esha (RA) said: I used to play with dolls after I got married to the Prophet (PBUH), and I had friends who used to play with me. When the Prophet (PBUH) entered while we were playing, they hid. So he peace be upon him was pleased from them and their playing with me."
Adding happiness in the family atmosphere:
Ayesha (RA) said: Once Sawdah (prophet's (PBUH)- wife) visited us, so the Prophet (PBUH), sat between me and her –one of his legs in my lap while the other in hers. I made for her a kind of food called "harerah" and said: Eat. She refused so I took a little part from the food and put it on her face. So the Prophet (PBUH took away his leg from her lap to let her defend her self. So she took a little part from the food and put it on my face while the Prophet (PBUH) laughed." Narrated by al-Nesae
Spreading warmth:
Aisha (RA) said that the Prophet (PBUH) used to go around visiting his wives and approached each one, put his hand on and kiss each one until he reached the last one. So if it was her day, he would stay with her" Ibn Saad's book
Does not disparage her during a problem:
Aisha (RA) was talking about the story of "Ifq": I rejected some of the Prophet's (PBUH) kindness to me. He used to be kind and merciful toward me when I complained, but he did not do that in this event, so I disapproved of his behavior. When he entered my room while my mother was taking care of me, he said: "How is she:?, without any addition" Narrated by Bukhari.
Reading Ruqyah (Quran and pray) for her when sick:
Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (PBUH) used to read the last three chapters of the Holy Qur'an over any of his family when the became ill." Narrated by Muslim
Complimenting those who treat their family well:
The Prophet (PBUH) said, "The best of you are those who best treat their women with kindness" Narrated by Tirmidhi and graded as Saheeh by Albani
Waiting until she dressed up:
Jabir narrated "We were with the Prophet (PBUH), during travel. When we came back, we wanted to enter our homes and the Prophet (PBUH), said, "Wait till night so they can comb their hair and the clean themselves" Narrated by Alnesaei.
How many of us have come even close to this example - and we call ourselves followers of the Prophet pbuh and His Lovers!
It's about time we looked at the Prophet pbuh's entire lifestyle and endeavour to adopt it rather than pick what suits us only.
May the Almighty grant us lesson and help us impove always.
Aameen. ~*
